Love can be a complicated affair, especially when it ends. Anyways, I’m about to vent, and it’s not about Clif, it’s about someone in our past who I just had a dream about. Clif and I are fine. I want to vent and put this out there to get it out then it’s done. So I’m about to be purposely vague….
Today I finally had to block you on FB. Not because of any wrong doing on your part. Not because of anger or drama, but because I realized we can never truly be friends. That’s what happens when you skip that stage and you jump into something more, when things end you don’t have that to go back to. I wish we could have because heaven knows you’re a good person worthy of anyone’s and everyone’s friendship, yet we can’t be. There is a part of you that will always seem mine… ours. Even though we have moved on, even though I can’t even be certain about my feelings back then, even though we ended things for valid and justifiable reasons… there is a part of me that will always be yours and yours of mine. Perhaps it’s the price of being polyamorous. Things don’t have to end for other things to begin. For most people love fades and diminishes before getting involved again. For me it just goes on, set aside. I put it away but it’s still there, changing, evolving, existing. Our ability to multi-task romantically means we can’t really kill that process. It must run it’s course.
Love is irrational. It doesn’t obey logic. It can’t be contained or tamed, and it certainly cannot be expected to follow any set of rules. I’m sorry we won’t get to be friends, but I wish you well, with everything in your life, and with him. You deserve it.
Such a stud :)